About 50 more days...

until law school starts.

I don't think it has hit me yet that I'm starting law school in about a month and a half. I've just more or less have accepted it as a fact. Haven't really thought much about it.

Though, I was reading something, I think this startled me more than anything. Because what if I don't do well in law school or well enough? And then I don't pass the bar! And if you don't pass the bar, then those three years were kind of a waste, right? And I'm not talking like, failing the bar the first time or second, I'm talking about taking the thing 20 times and still failing! Ugh. I don't even want to think of it. The whole thing just scares me. Though I am trying to keep things in perspective. It seems very silly to be scared of failing the bar when I haven't even started law school yet! So obviously, I'm being a bit ridiculous.

I'm blaming my silliness on one of my best friends from childhood who is also starting the same law school with me in the fall. She and I talked last night and she sounded...frantic. Which is strange to me because this is a girl who graduated valedictorian from high school, was the only Honors Scholar in her college and graduated college with a 4.0. She also works at the capital in my state and recently got a call from the President of the state's school system to prep her about a press conference she was giving that afternoon. She's obviously a high achiever. It's strange to hear her be worried about something like law school already, because I figure if any one will succeed there, she will.

I think once I buy my new laptop and books for class in the fall, everything will begin to feel more real.

Wedding!

One of my close friends from high school/college (she was my roommate for three semesters and I loved living with her) got married on Saturday, the 20th. Though she and her (now) husband are my age (21) they have been together for almost 5 years now. They are both adorable and love each other so much. I know it's sappy, but for them, it's true. And for them, though I usually can't stand sappy, mushy, lovey-dovey stuff, I make my exception for them.

I was her maid of honor. It was a lot of funny and fortunately, since this wedding has been in the work for almost four years now, there wasn't too much that I had to do. Although, the only thing they had professionally done were the flowers and those turned out to be Pepto Bismol pink which was not at all what she asked for and they were all carnations, not the white roses she wanted either. So about two hours before the wedding, I and one of her sister-in-law's took apart the flower bouquets that the florist put together and re-did the arraingements with the white roses that her fiance bought. The new bouquets turned out beautiful and in plenty of time before the wedding.

It was a great weekend. I'm kind of surprised I had so much fun at the wedding, but maybe since it was people that I cared about I had more fun.

Friends

So, my last post was more or less about a friendship that is, or maybe isn't, falling apart.

What I would like is to have a friendship like House's and Wilson's.



Yeah, House is a jerk and Wilson is inhumanely patient with him, these exaggerations of character seem to concrete that it's just a tv show, but still! I want a friendship like that, just where two people honestly care about one another.

I want to be Wilson though.

I want a friendship like Denny and Alan's too (on Boston Legal). I love them together. As individuals, they are okay, for the most part I prefer Shirley. But together, they are wonderful. To me, the end where Denny and Alan are sitting on the balcony reflecting on the day and smoking their big cigars is the best part of the show. Sure, the grandiose speeches are nice at times, but it's the friendship that I love.



When you search "denny and alan" a better picture shows up with them dressed as flamingos, but I didn't feel up to explaining that.

Nothing new on the law school front. I walked over to the administrative building on campus to have them send my transcript to the law school and there is probably less than 100 feet between the two. Lots of time and energy wasted with bureaucracy bullshit but oh well. I guess it must be done....

The Future

Yesterday I went to an end of the year celebration/food thing for an organization I'm in. One of the members asked me if I'm ready or excited for law school. It's a question I've been asked before by friends and friends of parents and so on and so forth. As for my answer, I don't know. I'm ready to graduate, that's most definitely for sure. I can't wait for May 16th to get here. I think after that, it'll hit me more that in the fall I won't be an undergrad anymore, but a law school student instead. It'll be weird too. All my friends will still be undergrads, because I'm the one that is graduating in three years, but it'll be nice for them to still be around. Hopefully, it'll be comforting and supportive too. Also, my brother starts Undergrad school in the fall and his dorm is maybe one minute from my apartment and since my apartment doesn't have a washer and dryer, I'll so be using his dorm and that's exciting. I'm really looking forward to living so close to him. Also, he and his girlfriend won prom queen and king last night! I'm happy for them. It feels so...American or something. I feel like I should be eating some apple pie and watching baseball.

I don't know what the future holds, but I'm looking forward to it.

Privacy Breach!

Crap. One of my friends from high school found me on twitter under the username I found for this blog. I don't know if she knows about the blog (not that it would be too big of a deal, thankfully this blog has remained pretty anonymous so far) but still. Oh well. Just had to change a couple of things on my twitter account and it's all good.

I hope.

A few things

First off, I must stop procrastinating. Seriously, that capstone paper isn't going to write itself, no matter how much I wish it would. Plus, the sad thing is I have 11 pages so far and have a list of what all I need to finish for the paper to be considered 'finished.' All I have to do is the work. Easier said than done, I guess. Well, obviously.

Secondly, I'm getting more excited about law school since I paid the seat deposit. It kind of drives me crazy that I don't have my class schedule yet, but oh well, not much can be done about that. Must. have. patience.

Also, about 35 days left until graduation! Thank goodness is all I have to say about that.

I'm so tired of this semester and I need summer employment. I have taken some steps to fix the latter part of the previous sentence. Like talked to my current employers about tutoring this summer and filled out an application to help with freshman stuff this summer (for the Undergrads). Hopefully, one of those will come through, if not both.

Additionally, I have 3 friends that are currently engaged. One of which, I am the Maid of Honor. I love her (the bride), so it's a huge honor to me to be up there with her when she gets married. Plus, I can pick my own dress, as long as it's black. Good deal, I think. And since this wedding has been in the works for about five years, I don't have to do much as Maid of Honor, since everything has been taken care of for a while. Basically, I just have to show up, appropriately attired and be supportive. This I can totally do. I'm so happy for her, that this wedding is finally happening.

Fourthly (or Fifthly) well, I don't really know what else I have. Oh! I have no motivation or incentives right now. I'm already accepted and paid the seat deposit for my law school. I have an A in one of the classes I need to graduate in and a B in the other class. As for the other two classes I'm in, I have an A in one and a B in the other. I'm a-okay with these grades. As far as showing up to class and doing the homework for said classes, just yeah. Where's my motivation? I should probably find it...eventually...some day. Yeah, I'll get on that... and the capstone paper as well.

Seat Deposit

I paid my seat deposit this week. $500 that I'll never see again... oh well. It had to go, I guess. Kind of amusing fact, I changed my facebook status to "Paid my seat deposit today." My friend asked me on facebook chat if that meant I was getting butt implants. Um, no, but then I asked him if I need butt implants and I got more of an ambiguous response there. Hmmm.

Moving on....

I'm beginning to really look forward to law school. 41 days left until I graduate! I have an A and a B in the two classes I actually NEED to graduate and an A and a B in the other two classes I'm in. As far as the capstone goes, I present my paper presentation on the 21st this month. And then, I don't know what else I have left. Commencement? Finals? We'll see. I'm getting excited though!

Admitted Students Reception

I went to the Law School's Admitted Students' Reception. It was okay - a meet and greet thing. I'm not so good at mingling. I mainly just talked to the people I know. Besides, I didn't have many questions because I've been bombarding a 1L I know at the Law School with questions for a couple of weeks now. I'm questioned out.

I'm fairly sure that's where I'm going in the fall. So sure, in fact, that I'm going to pay my seat deposit this week. As soon as I get the money in my bank account.

As for my friends.... I just don't know. They don't care and that sucks. It really sucks to want to hang out with them and miss them like I do and know that they don't feel the same about me. That they are fine without talking or hanging out or any type of communication whatsoever. I guess it's good I'm starting law school in the fall. Kind of a chance at a new beginning. Maybe make some new friends there? Let's hope so.

Rambling

My Spring Break is coming to an end. It's been a nice week of laying around, being lazy, watching tv, rubbing Lola's (the miniature poodle) belly, telling Bruno (the yorkie) what a handsome boy he is, petting Hercules (the cat), and sleeping. I'm sad to see it end.

In strange news, well I think it's strange, I have a lawschoolnumbers.com account. I tried to update it regularly, because I think they are helpful, or at least other people's accounts were helpful for me when applying to law schools. However, I got an anonymous comment on mine that was like, "Congrats on your acceptances. You should be withdrawing from schools so other people can have your spot." A part of me agreed. I do know where I'm going in August, 95% certain of it at least, but another part of me... wants to wait. Some of those schools I really like, just don't have the money to go, didn't get the scholarship offers. I kind of want to wait a bit and see if I do get some offers, or at least wait until I'm 99% sure I'll be staying at Undergrad for Law School. Afterall, it was my hard work that got me into those schools in the first place. Aren't I entitled to wait until I'm sure, nearly 100%, until I start withdrawing? So I appreaciate the congrats from the person (the anonymous person, seriously, who makes that comment anonymously?), but kind of feel it was a bit rude to tell me to withdraw. Maybe that's just me though. People are strange.

Maybe I'll write about this more on another day, but my roommate and I are having trouble with our friends (different set of friends). As far as mine go, I think I overrated them. I thought Clementine and Amelia were fantastic, the best friends some one could have, but... they're not. It's sad. To me, they are my top priority usually, up there with family. If they need something, I'll drop what I'm doing. I make compromises, concessions for them, but they can't do the same for me, the thought doesn't even enter their mind. Sure, if it's convenient for them, then maybe. Oh well, what can you do. Sometimes you have to take what you can get.

I don't want to go back to school.

Nightmares

Recently I've been having some awful nightmares. For the past few days, I've been dreaming that I've missed classes. Not skipped them, but like I completely forgot about the classes in the first place. And in my dreams, this went on for weeks. Weeks where, apparently, I would just completely forget about going to class. I don't know what I did instead, but I guess I wasn't going to class. The strange thing is I've had multiple dreams of this type. Dreams where I only miss one week of classes, or specific classes, and the worst dream was when I skipped about half a semester's worth and received midterm grades where I got 2 A's, 2 B's and 1 C. All of these dreams have been incredibly upsetting too.

I think partly the issue is everyone I know has gone back to school, except me (and my friends at my Undergrad school). We don't start until Jan. 20th. I guess that just has been throwing me off.

The other part I think that has contributed to these dreams is that - I'm a nerd, obviously. I mean, dreaming about freaking out about missing classes. Seriously, who does that? Especially since I've already been accepted to some great law schools and really, this next semester, doesn't matter so much, grades-wise that is. Of course, I won't slack off...much. Just, yeah. Long story short, I'm a nerd. Could be worse I suppose. And by worse, I mean I went to a club last night with some friends and saw an erotic hypnotist (umm, yeah...a story for another time) but just listening to the people in line... good grief. I'm a little surprised that natural selection hasn't gotten to them yet. A couple of tidbits I remember:

A girl: "OMG those lasers are making me trip balls." wtf and oh, there were NO lasers...

A guy talking to his friends: "Yeah, just have sex with her. Then it's done. You don't have to talk to her again..."

A little later he uttered these gems, "It (sex) doesn't count if it's consensual. It says so in the bible. It only counts as a sin if it's not (consensual), then it's just sex." Again, wtf.

Oh...wow. That's all I've got.

Lazy Saturday

LSAT class this morning at 9. Wow it was hard to get up. I shouldn't have gone out last night...

The teacher came in this morning and says, "I have two things to say. The first is I realize that the top button of my dress is missing and secondly, I am 87% margarita, 3% gin and 10% dehydration, so cut me some slack. And yes, the second part may be related to the first." It was a good class though. It's always good practice, in the very least. I need to be doing my homework for it. I kind of slacked off last time, but I wanted to do when I had time and could fully devote my attention to it. I guess I'm just going to have to make that time for it.

My family is coming up for the football game today. I'm excited. It should be a fantastic game, a blow out really. And Amelia wants to hang out tonight! I rarely see her anymore, she's always with her boyfriend it seems. So hopefully, it'll be a great Saturday.

First Day

Today was the first day of classes. Latin is going to be awful, but that was somewhat expected. It was good seeing people again and the weather was perfect.

Amelia, Clementine and I went driving around tonight and it was so much fun. We were driving through the country and blasting the Beatles, "With a Little Help From My Friends" and Aqualungs, "Brighter Than Sunshine." All in all, a fantastic day.

As far as law school stuff goes, I turned in a transcript request stuff today. Hopefully LSDAS will be receiving that soon and processing.

Oh, and if you're someone who is reading this because your 'blawg' is on my blog roll, then I just want to say that I love reading everyone's blawgs and that they have helped me to decide whether law school is in my future (which I believe it is.)